Ode to our Sewer

*as sung to "Oh What do you do in the Summertime?" This post was inspired by true events that happened over the blessed Memorial Day weekend and almost succeeded in thwarting our plans of enjoying our anniversary together. Alone. Thanks be to Mike and Katy who stepped in and saved the day by taking us under their wings during our time of desperate need. It is lovingly dedicated to them, our heroes who "weren't afraid of no stinkin' sewer crisis". Sing it with gusto while imagining Dan decked out in a gas mask with a garbage bag strategically attached with rubberbands up to his shoulder.


Oh what do you do with sewage sublime, when muck is suddenly leaking?
Do you yell “what were you thinking?
The whole house is stinking!
Now clean up this mess or die”?
Is that what you do? So did I.

Oh what do you with the sewer slime, when the mystery wouldn’t flush down?
Do you plunge with a frown,
Or curse at the “brown,”
Or wait til the sludge is dry?
Is that what you do? So did I.


Oh what do you with the sewer grime, when the smell makes your face go green?
Do you pee in a stream,
Or use a latrine,
Or sit back and wanna cry?
Is that what you do? So did I.

Oh what do when your sewer’s not fine, and your work failed to save the “can”?
Although you look grand,
With gas mask in hand
Do you reach for the phone book and sigh?
Is that what you do? So did I.

So here’s what we did in the “sewertime” when our pump came down with “the sickness.”
E’en though the toilet’s off limits,
I’ve asked for forgiveness
And we’re all going out for pie.
I know that’s what you’d do—you’re just like I.