A Christmas Riddle

Do you laugh or cry when...

Your son (not naming names, you guess which one) and his partner-in-crime (cousin) stack up some violin cases on the piano bench to pull off every last one of your beautifully color-coordinated, sparkly, and apparently irresistable Christmas balls from the tree, and then smash them into the carpet with their cowboy boots?

Neither. You vacuum. And then get really excited when you realize there's one little loner ball that they didn't see. All of a sudden it's a good day again.

Merry Christmas, Lukas, I love you.

My Newest Endeavor

After much thought and deliberation, I have committed to becoming a piano teacher. I have joined an association of piano teachers in Idaho and will try hard to educate myself to be the best teacher I can. So....starting the second week of January, I will be accepting students! I am really excited about this new adventure in my life and am opening up for reservations. I will cap out at 10 students for now so I can still devote the time I need to my family. I am open to lessons before school, after school, in the evenings, and on Saturdays.

Please help me by spreading the word and get your kids excited over Christmas break to try something new!

Thanks, Teacher Sal

Merry Christmas, With Love

Well, we just finished decorating our house, and since we live at the end of a dead-end street, I didn't think many of you would get the chance to see it.

So, here's to family, friends, love, and laughter this Christmas Season. The best things in life really aren't things after all.... (even though you have to admit our house is stinkin' awesome!)

Merry Christmas Everyone! Big Hug, Sal

Check it out!

I'm inviting every reader of my blog to come join me and my mom and sister down at the Boise Fairgrounds this weekend for the biggest, baddest craft fair in town! I am so excited for this--we have been preparing for almost a year and it's finally here! Here are some of our goods you'll find, only at "The Neatest Place."Picture Frames or Recipe Holders with coordinating potholders....
Cozy flannel baby blankets and burp cloths are a perfect gift for that new little one! Adorable baby sweaters hand-knitted with love by a grandma who knows her stuff--the pictures really don't do them justice!Here are a few samplings of quilts made by my sister and mom, along with a few "animal cuddlies" that are a blanket and stuffed animal in one!More hand-crafted goodness by Susan....Our aprons for little girls are so adorable, I can't stand it! Your favorite little girl will look good enough to eat wearing one of these in the kitchen!I hope to see you there! We'll be at the Boise Fairgrounds (off of Chinden) Friday from 11-7 and Saturday from 11-5. Come check us out and get a free gift with any purchase! Happy Holidays!

Oh Baby!!!

Yesterday Emily and I excitedly (and admittedly a bit anxious) got in the car to go downtown together for a mother/daughter bonding moment. The purpose of our trek? For Emmers to watch me get lathered up in warm goo in order to catch a glimpse of this:

Oh, it brought tears to my eyes! Yes, it was verified....The little jumping bean we saw on the screen confirmed our suspicions that my body has been taken over by an alien identity. And it's settled in for 7 more months! It was very active and very cute, you know, for a bean.



Now I feel justified in feeling ill at the thought of browning ground beef and getting winded performing menial chores such as grating cheese. I also feel entitled to my 10 hours of sleep per night, when pre-ultrasound I was thinking maybe I was just lazy? Emily wanted to know "How's the baby supposed to be healthy if you're so sick?" Because it's sucking the life out of me! (which unfortunately doesn't end once they're born...)



At any rate, we are very excited and thinking girly thoughts. Estimated due date: June 24. I've always heard June babies are the cutest. Next to Feb, April, and October, of course.



Phew. I'm out of breath. I need a nap.

BOO!

Frightening, I know. Every time Dan puts that mask on, Sam is terrified beyond reason. Yet he continues to toment him with it. Fathers.

This year we continued our tradition of trick-or-treating with cousins. It was the "Kuna Year" so we packed up and made the trek south. After a belly full of delicious "monster stew" the kids headed out for some loot. Thanks to the 60 degree weather, they were out for over an hour and came home with enough candy to last them until Christmas (literally--I will be putting the leftovers in their stockings. shhhh)!
Lukas and Sam came back sweating and red-faced. I'm telling you--this year was so bizarre! Espcially compared to my childhood memories of trick-or-treating in frigid temperatures with Dad driving us around from house to house in the country with worries of getting stuck in the snow.... It was a great year. Give a woot woot for chocolate.

P.S. This is what my kids do when I'm blogging and too lazy to get them that snack they've been begging for...

overheard...

"....and you wouldn't want to go trick-or-treating naked because that would be totally inappropriate." -Emily to a cousin



"Hey, you look like Jesus!" -Lukas to our tv fix-it man (who knew Jesus had tatoos?)



Lukas: "I don't eat my boogers anymore."

Me: "That's good. What do you do with them?"

Lukas: "I put them back in my nose."

Me: "No you don't! What do you really do with them?"

Lukas: "I play with them and then throw them away."



"I'm going to get you, stinkin' Lightning McQuack!" Sam to his Daddy

"What's Grosser than Gross?"

Do you remember playing that game as a child? I'm no longer playing it, I'm living it.

I have children.

And they gross me out. The fact that I love them dearly doesn't change that fact, it just helps me find the humor in the various situations I find myself in. You'd think that once you get past the pooping/barfing stage of babies, things would start to look up. Not so. Here are a few scenarios that I've encountered just in the past week. (And I didn't even have to think very hard.)

• We thought Emily may have broken her leg last weekend. When asked to remove her boot to see if she could move her foot, it took all I had not to pass out from the indescribable odor emitting from her feet. I had to wonder "did something die in her boot?" And then I remembered, nah, they always smell this bad. Poor thing. She seems oblivious to the fact that her feet are such powerful weapons.
• I came upon Lukas and Sam "cleaning" the bathroom counter with their toothbrushes. I thought it was kind of cute, but I had to confiscate their toothbrushes (who knows what else they had cleaned). Little did I know, they also had used Emily's toothbrush and later that night she complained that the toothpaste tasted like soap. I had to laugh--it's payback time for her. About 4 years ago she had used BJ's toothbrush to clean the toilet without telling anyone, and when BJ complained that his toothbrush tasted funny, I told him to stop complaining and still made him use it for 2 days until Emily fessed up.
• BJ has to be bribed to change his underwear. I've done his laundry before without any tighty-whities to be found. Is it really that hard to remember? On top of that, his philosophy of clothes is "If I am wearing it, it is my napkin."
• At the infamous Volleyball banquet, I had to keep Lukas from putting a piece of gum in his mouth that he had scraped off from under our table. I must admit, he comes by that naturally, as I considered ABC gum a delicacy as a child.
• Sam loves his blankie. For some odd reason, he likes to shove it in his mouth and sucks on it. (That alone is pretty disgusting.) Yesterday when I went to get him after he woke up from his nap, I found that he had wet the bed. Through and through. And there he was, sucking on his blankie. I'm hoping that he had a drooling problem and that's why his blanket was so wet, but I have my suspicions.
• And this is what prompted me to write this post, the "proverbial straw"....Before naps, my boys went potty. I went in there to speed things up, just as Lukas was wiping from "#2." Before I knew it, he then wiped his nose with the same tissue. Then he looked at the tissue like it was it was defective or something. Did he forget that quickly where it had just been? I tell ya,

Kids are GROSS!!!

Are we sisters?

The resemblance is undeniable. I know Nancy's cuter....give her 11 years to catch up! :) Love ya, sis!

Don't Touch That!!!

Famous last words....

Here's the story: Last night was MHS's volleyball banquet at the highschool. As always, we took the whole family, and as always, the kids made a complete spectacle out of themselves. Since everyone else there is in high school, most of them don't have siblings our kids' age, and they really stick out. I was ready to go home before it started. Promises of cake kept me around. After dessert, each coach highlighted their girls, finishing up with the varsity coach who gave a very emotional speech and announced her resignation. It was very touching. She then told everyone they could stick around and socialize for a bit and say their goodbyes. I told Dan I was going to the car with all the kids and we'd wait for him there so I could avoid any further embarrassment. On our way out, I was holding Lukas' hand and at about the same time I heard "Mommy, what's this?" I heard sirens. Yes, Lukas pulled the fire alarm at the high school. I was mortified. I had to go back in to tell them it was a false alarm. While walking to the car, I noticed another meeting of coaches. (Which I found out later was the district meeting of football coaches.) They were headed to the door and saw the crowd of girls pouring out of the cafeteria. I told one of them over the din that it wasn't real. (Now this part is funny.) He goes, "Yeah, I know--our burnt food set it off. We're calling the police dept. right now to tell them not to come." I looked in, and lo and behold, a bunch of tough guy coaches had brought steaming crockpots which they believed set off the smoke alarms. I held my laughter til I got to the car.

Unfortunately, their call to the MPD wasn't fast enough and about 3 minutes later, 2 big ol' fire trucks pull up to the school. I made Lukas go apologize, but I don't think it was very effective because the fireman was way too nice and started handing out party favors. All in all, it was a memorable evening I hope to never relive.

10K Oi Vey!!

On Saturday my friends and I broke free from the Boise Prison. Our crime? Staying in shape in frigid temperatures. Who knew that was a punishable offense? (even though some days I'd rather be in a jail cell sleeping than running at 5:45 am) So, around 9:00 the siren went off and the brute squad came through in full uniform (we're talking so close they TOUCHED me) and tried to intimidate us with all their manly machismo, but alas, we were undaunted (and way too fast for them to catch) and finished a 10K in record time. Well, kinda (hey, it's a record if it's your first time right?). Here we are pre-race and pre-sweat.

Here we are post-race and thrilled to be on the other side of the finish line!!! I think all those hardened criminals cheering us on did wonders for our time. (I wish I could say the same for the gravel path and unforseen hills....) Thanks girls, for pushing me and making working out not only bearable, but (75%) enjoyable!!!

The Monster Mash

This last weekend was chock full of parties, activities, good food, and FRIENDS. Ah, good times.

I hope Mike learned his lesson about how to wear a dress with a slit up the side....And Tara, well, we won't even go there. For now.

Owwweee, she makes one hot nun--if I looked that good in a habit, I may change religions.

Yo ho ho....Pirates aren't supposed to have that perfect of teeth.

Here was my hot date on Friday. If you can't tell, I'm supposed to be my alter-ego "Skye" from Rockband. (except she's blond, but I'm thinking of crimping her hair since I was so pleased with my volume that night (and that's AFTER it had deflated!))


Business in the front, party in the back, baby. Bring on the 80's! Pysche.

SKARAOKE. Be very afraid. Disco Dan was my date Saturday. He's lucky my Friday night date didn't know about it. If only you could see the ruffles on Dan's shirt....suh-weet!

Brock doesn't know what to do with himself. I don't blame him--he's dressed like a girl and he doesn't recognize his very own mother.

The Magnificent Seven

Little Emmers is a big bad seven year old--and artsy enough to create her own cake and cupcakes for her party. (and lucky enough to have two parties with lots of cousins!) I think she did a pretty swell job, don't you? (and just in case, I only had to eat about 6 of them to declare them satisfactory for party guests.)
She desperately wanted a cow scarf, for whatever reason, and wears it daily with pride. Emmers is one of the few 7 year olds bold enough to make this kind of statement.

Oh, that smile of hers just makes my heart melt. I'm so thankful I have at least one girl!

The Seven Greatest Things about Em:

1. She lets me play with her hair, but doesn't care if I forget to fix it for weeks on end.

2. Her unique reasoning capabilities and complex trains of thought.

3. Her sense of style, man!

4. Her amazing empathy. (she once told me through tears "I don't know why I feel like crying when other people get hurt, but I feel like I'm hurting, too!")

5. Her journal. My favorite book.

6. She loves being a helper and is always the first on the scene when Dan asks "who wants to help Daddy?"

7. Her infectious sense of humor! She really is a hoot and I just love her so much!

"The Neatest Place"

Don't make fun of us for choosing that name for our booth at the Craft Fair. It will all make sense by the end of the post.

What do you get when you add this: To this?

And sew like a mad woman for 3 days straight? A basket full of goodies that may be too cute to even part with at the Christmas show!

It wasn't as easy as one would think with 9 kids running rampant around the house, with half of them puking....

But, we gotterdun and here is some more of our lovely merchandise:

Grand totals: 36 animal snugglies, 18 aprons, 100 flower pens (free gift with purchase while supplies last!), 1000s of laughs

Left to go: 40 picture frames, 100 bookmarks, 50 charm bracelets

Not to be outdone, it is worth mentioning that my dear mother has also knitted about 50 baby sweaters and crocheted around hundreds of burpcloths and baby blankets. It has taken her ALL YEAR. (plus she did all my dishes while she was here--can we say Saint?!)

So....everyone get out their highlighter and mark your calendars for December 5-6 at the Idaho Fairgrounds! Mention this ad and get my special friendship discount! :) hee hee

"Hey, where did you score that adorable apron for your little girl?"

"I got it at The Neatest Place!"

Hello, Charlie

OK, this is weird and wonderful all wrapped up in a receiving blanket--my baby sister had a BABY!!!! (Nancy, I hope you don't mind me showing you both off to all of my friends!) I am so thrilled for her, and as you can see for yourself a) he is stinkin' adorable, and b) Nancy looks fabulous. Congrats, sistah, I love you and can't wait to meet the little bambino myself!!!

Oh, and P.S. Nance, it is totally unfair that your labor lasted all of 1 hour. If that? My advice: Move closer to the hospital before Charlie's siblings arrive!!!

Lookie at Lukey

It's photo time!!! I love Cama! Love her! She is such a great person and friend. Yesterday we got together and the time went by way too fast. She managed to get some delightful pictures of Lukas (much to my surprise--he only looked at her about 10% of the time, and of that, his tongue was sticking out most of it!) that I had to share. If you are dying to see more, check it out!!! She always amazes me with her creativity and keen eye for unique photos. Her blog is full of amazing shots that will make you drool. :)

And yes, these boys are brothers!

"...and there shall not be room enough to receive it."

Does anyone out there think this "tithing" blessing pertains to zucchini? Call me crazy, but I'm a believer!!! You think I'm joking, but as Dan can attest, I most assuredly am not. Thanks to our gracious neighbors, we have been able to stretch our food budget when we needed it most. Did you know zucchini can be added to almost anything? Green specs have popped up in my cookies, breads, eggs, stir-fries, pasta dishes, and frittatas. My kids have gotten very supsicious, but now it's just a fact of life. Zucchini happens. Here's a little sampling of what they have dropped off just last week:I am so grateful for this blessing! When life gives you zucchini, make something out of it!!!
I'll try not to eat the whole loaf of my chocolate lime zucchini bread all my myself....

Say what?

Lukas to Sam this morning: "Sam, get your sword. And then you will die. Because we don't say kill."

Sam, upon running in on me in the bathroom: "Mom, you're smashing the toilet with your big, big, big, big, big, BIG bum."

OK, the first "big" was funny, then it was amusing, then Sam was banished from the bathroom.

Moldy Pits and Asslesop

Can anyone deny the beauty of canned fruit? Has anyone else out there experienced the blissful delirium of canning with a loved one at 2am? If not, you gotta try it! By the end, our minds were as mushy as the "asslesop" (a Katy spoonerism) and as fuzzy as the moldy peaches. But, "memories are made of this...." Yes, that is 20 pounds of apples in one pot. Yes, it scorched on the bottom, and yes, the apples on top were still, er, crispy. And yes, we learned our lesson!

Poor little Brocky boo just couldn't take it anymore! After Mike came home and relieved Katy, I had her strap me to her back to take a load off my aching feet! Her smile wasn't quite so big then.

It is finished. Well done, thou good and faithful canner and enter now into your bed.

But don't get too comfy because there's still 100 more pounds of apples to go!!!

Foozball Dance Party!!!

Here's a little glimpse into our private life behind closed doors:

It's all fun and games until someone gets hit in the head with a unicorn guitar....

How did we get to this point, you might ask? It's what you get when you have a few too many oreos for FHE treats and then put BJ in charge of the activity. He narrowed our options down to foozball or a dance party and we ended up doing both simultaneously! BJ was dancing with so much gusto I got a side ache from laughing so hard and I couldn't concentrate on my game. Argh, I hate losing to Dan! (But I've managed to get used to it these past 9 years....) When I tried mimicing his moves, I found myself sweating more profusely than I do after running in the morning! These shots were when we got down to "serious bidness" after the foozball game was over.

I'm telling ya, dat boy got moves you aint nevah seen befo!

Whatcha gonna do....

I was happily sitting on the couch at Katy's house, gabbing into oblivion when I happened to take a gander out the window and saw this speeding by:

"Dost mine eyes deceive me?" I thought. Could Adam really have bathed in mud? And if so, where the heck was my darling Sammy? A couple steps outside revealed his whereabouts....

He was truly stuck! The weird thing is, I don't know how long he had been there, because we never heard a peep. By the time I got there, his (one day old) shoes were buried deep in the muck and required my brute force to extract them.

The next 10 minutes were spent hosing the kids off with cold irrigation water. (Brings back memories of my dad dousing my sister and I with buckets full of cold water after we painted ourselves green from head to toe when we were supposed to be painting the barn fence, huh Mary?! At least, I now I know my parents' train of thought that fateful day: What were they thinking?!!!)

But, whatcha gonna do? Kids will be kids.